I would like to wish everyone a belated MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! A very HAPPY NEW YEAR to all my friends and family. Christmas was a wonderful day for us and after what we received from people we know and from people we don't know how can myself and children not beleive in Santa Claus.
We did celebrate the birth of our Lord and the kids know the real reason why we celebrate this special day. It is also the celebration of giving and we have been given things that was unbeleivable, and to us that is what Santa Claus represents as well. It is what you beleive in your heart.
I did believe in my husband but right now my doubts are becoming reality and it freinghtens the heck right out of me. It seems like we are getting further in the hole and it just doesn't seem to bother him at all. At one point I had an important decision to make regarding my health and now it looks like I have to put that on the back burner. Now it's a decision on Do I RETURN TO WORK or NOT because he sure as hell don't seem to worry, I cannot come up with anymore answers I am worn out and now all I am going to concentrate on is my childrens well being and let the rest fall into place. How dare I let him do this to us!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank God I have a place to vent now I have to put things into perspective and MOVE ON!!!!!!
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Moving On
It has been a roller coaster for me but through all that have been by my side and supporting me it has gotten much easier. One in paticular who I now know has never left me is GOD. I still have a hard time getting back, but the road is getting smoother.
I have made my decision and it is yes, the fear is not going to go away but it is going to be a thing of the past once I have conquer this large bridge that is ahead of me. I am going to have a wonderful christmas with my family and friends. I am very blessed to have the friends that are surrounding me right now, because they have reminded me over and over that God is always there and will always be there no matter what. God my heart is opened and please walk right in for I never want to close it on you again.
Elayne the way you explained the poem Footprints was fantastic, I would love to have a copy of it. I do remember the poem but no one has ever discribed the you have. YES!!!!!!!!! I heard you shouting from the roof top and man I sure felt AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank You all so much.
I have made my decision and it is yes, the fear is not going to go away but it is going to be a thing of the past once I have conquer this large bridge that is ahead of me. I am going to have a wonderful christmas with my family and friends. I am very blessed to have the friends that are surrounding me right now, because they have reminded me over and over that God is always there and will always be there no matter what. God my heart is opened and please walk right in for I never want to close it on you again.
Elayne the way you explained the poem Footprints was fantastic, I would love to have a copy of it. I do remember the poem but no one has ever discribed the you have. YES!!!!!!!!! I heard you shouting from the roof top and man I sure felt AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank You all so much.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Life's Decisions
It has been a very long time since I have posted anything regarding me. The comments from Michelle and her mother are wonderful. I feel like I have known both of them for a long time. It has been a very long journey for me all my life.
I have crossed bridges in my life that some people cannot believe that I am here to tell the tail, I know I am not the only one that has been in my shoes. I am very proud of myself for conquering the obstecles that have been put in front of me while I live my life to the best of my ability. I have made good decisions and some bad, but all in all it's mostly good ones.
Today I have a wonderful family. My husband loves me to no end and he reminds me everyday, Yes we do have our ups and down but we always come through for each other. I truely believe in my marriage, I return my love for my husband everyday as well. My children are my whole life, they brighten it everyday they awake and I am very proud to be able to tell everyone that I am their mother. I love them both with all my heart.
Britney is a very unique young lady. She has no problem letting known what she believes in, and what she has planned for her life. Let no one tell her any different. She has a heart of gold and she is very sensative. Eric also has a heart of gold and will do anything he can for anyone. He is always out to make people happy.
We moved to Lethbridge one year ago and everything all started out very nicely, we found a wonderful place to call home, my husband found a great job, I was able to find a fantastic school for my children to attend and once I had all that in place I was able to find a rewarding job for myself. It was picture perfect. The one thing that I was loosing that I only knew about was my faith in god. I would pray everyday and now it's hard to even try,my trust has even disappeared.
Now I am facing the most difficult decision and I have no idea what to do. Everyone has been very supportive and I am very lucky to have such support surrounding me, but it is something I have to decide. I do feel all alone right now and I am frustrated, angry, scared, sad, happy and totally num. Some cannot understand what it is that's so hard to decide but It is very hard for me. God where are you and please guide me back!!!!!!!! I have always needed you but I am lost.
I have crossed bridges in my life that some people cannot believe that I am here to tell the tail, I know I am not the only one that has been in my shoes. I am very proud of myself for conquering the obstecles that have been put in front of me while I live my life to the best of my ability. I have made good decisions and some bad, but all in all it's mostly good ones.
Today I have a wonderful family. My husband loves me to no end and he reminds me everyday, Yes we do have our ups and down but we always come through for each other. I truely believe in my marriage, I return my love for my husband everyday as well. My children are my whole life, they brighten it everyday they awake and I am very proud to be able to tell everyone that I am their mother. I love them both with all my heart.
Britney is a very unique young lady. She has no problem letting known what she believes in, and what she has planned for her life. Let no one tell her any different. She has a heart of gold and she is very sensative. Eric also has a heart of gold and will do anything he can for anyone. He is always out to make people happy.
We moved to Lethbridge one year ago and everything all started out very nicely, we found a wonderful place to call home, my husband found a great job, I was able to find a fantastic school for my children to attend and once I had all that in place I was able to find a rewarding job for myself. It was picture perfect. The one thing that I was loosing that I only knew about was my faith in god. I would pray everyday and now it's hard to even try,my trust has even disappeared.
Now I am facing the most difficult decision and I have no idea what to do. Everyone has been very supportive and I am very lucky to have such support surrounding me, but it is something I have to decide. I do feel all alone right now and I am frustrated, angry, scared, sad, happy and totally num. Some cannot understand what it is that's so hard to decide but It is very hard for me. God where are you and please guide me back!!!!!!!! I have always needed you but I am lost.
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